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Boundaries are important, especially for those of us who didn’t have much boundary-setting modeled in our childhoods. I have often felt guilty or selfish for taking time to nap, read, write, watch a show, learn a new skill, etc. I must remind myself to prioritize time to rest, reflect, and recharge, to be my best for my family,

I have found a few strategies that have sustained my ability to homeschool and enjoy each day with my family. 

Keep sacred times for yourself.

For me, it’s first thing in the morning and at least an hour in the afternoon (when the season calls for it, not the crazy Newborn Phase!). Find time during the day to focus on the things that fill your cup.

If you find that your children demand a lot from you throughout the day perhaps you can discuss that there are times you will not be available and they will need to play in their room for 30 minutes while you have a rest.

Having a routine during home days will set you all up for success.

“After lunch, you’re going to have quiet time in your room while I rest/have some quiet time to myself.”

Routines or maintaining a rhythm help everyone feel empowered throughout the day and give you breaks when needed. 

Take Space When You’re Overwhelmed

Tell them you need space when you feel agitated or angry with your children. Taking a break to walk outside or go into a quiet room during a heated moment can benefit both of you. Moving away instead of reacting will ensure less damage to your relationship and that displaced anger isn’t projected onto your child. 

Protect Your Time

Another area in which boundaries can be established is with commitments.

It can be hard to say, “no” to activities when you have several children and homeschool so many different personalities. Everyone has their desired interests and needs. 

I’m still working on this, and I’ve found it’s always a juggling act. Time is fleeting, and I try to focus on the season. 

The most important thing is keeping the relationship between you and your children as stress-free as possible. If too many activities cause a lot of strife and tension then perhaps it’s time to say, “no” to some activities for a while. 

You may not get to everything each child wants to do/learn about, but I assure you it will come back around if it’s important to them. 

Establish a Routine 

One that allows you to get your needs met and one that allows the kids to have theirs met, too. Routines help with planning and preparing leading to smoother weeks and less overwhelmed kids. When they know the expectations for each day, life runs more smoothly. 

For example:

• Planning meals and getting groceries before the week begins.
• Allowing time each day to prep healthy meals.
• After breakfast, brushing teeth before getting into project/school work.
• Getting outside before lunch and dinner to enjoy nature.
• Only having outings on certain days to ensure the week doesn’t get too hectic. 

Keep Track of Questions and Requests

Write down projects, questions, and ideas your kids want to get to that you don’t have time to get to at that moment.

My son has been asking insightful questions about geography, time, and war. It’s given me ideas for what to present and dive deeper into. Hearing the national anthem before football games, led to a deep dive into the origin of the Star-spangled Banner, which led to reading about the War of 1812. We found ourselves researching and finding games online about the life of a sailor during that time.

Both big kids have shown more interest in understanding when things have happened in history and I’m working on creating timeline activities to enhance their knowledge. 

Sometimes I do projects in the evenings with my oldest since the littles take up so much of my attention during the daytime. This tends to be when she gets big ideas and wants to create, write, or practice reading.

When evenings don’t work (I get too tired!) I give her time to work and then let her keep her activities out to complete the next day. 

Your children will emulate you.

We can also model the behaviors we wish for our children to inherit. Do you want your child to learn to respect you, themselves, and others?  Of course, you do! Then, there is no better time to show them than by modeling how to set boundaries now. Don’t worry about being perfect. Show up for yourself and the rest will fall into place. 

It’s not selfish

Boundaries are important, and although they seem selfish, we can’t be our best for our families without them. You have needs that want to be met, too! By providing an example for your children, you will be giving them the gift of what it looks like to live an authentic life.