It starts with trusting them

“ Trust Children. Nothing could be more simple, or more difficult. Difficult because to trust children we must first learn to trust ourselves, and most of us were taught as children that we could not be trusted.” -John Holt

One of the benefits I’ve noticed by living a life without school is the confidence that has been built within my children. They make choices that align with their internal values, allow their curiosities to drive them towards learning and they are willing to try hard things when they see value in it. 

How unschooling creates confident kids

Autonomy 

Unschooling allows us to create an environment in which our children are able to do things for themselves and the freedom to do what they want/need to do throughout the day. No need to ask to use the bathroom or for a snack when hungry. We get to live freely of restraints that are seen as normal for children in a school setting. 

Freedom to make choices

By giving children the freedom to make their own choices throughout the day they naturally grow confident when going out into the real world. With our guidance as needed. As my children are getting older I see them engaging with the world in really positive ways and not intimated by new experiences and new people. Without being told what to do and how to do it constantly, they don’t have anxiety or fear about making decisions for themselves. 

Make mistakes and learn responsibility

Children who are not forced to do things out of coercion from adults do enjoy responsibility and taking ownership of their learning. They enjoy being part of something bigger than themselves and naturally want to participate in the world around them. They aren’t afraid to make mistakes because they understand it’s how we learn. By making mistakes within the safety of family and positive peer relationships, resilience and critical thinking skills can develop in a healthy way. 

Close family 

Family support is number one in creating confident children. We as parents hold a big role in shaping our child’s self-esteem. By giving positive feedback, embracing their unique personalities, and fostering a loving home, a child will believe they are capable of a lot.

Positive social experiences

When children are home-schooled they are not constantly navigating the dog-eat-dog world of peer pressure. Without the distraction of keeping up with their peers views of them, homeschooled children can focus on being themselves and pursuing their own interests. Most socialization is with family and adults in the real world along with children whom they’ve chosen to spend time with or share common interests with. 

Learn at THEIR own pace

One of the cornerstones of unschooling is giving a child freedom to learn at their own pace. If they’re not interested in a subject or developing a skill it’s not forced upon them. This gives a child confidence to work on a skill when they feel ready and to take a break when they have had enough. They discover their strengths, weaknesses and how learning actually works. Time and time again I’ve seen my children pursue a skill and then take breaks only to come back to it at some other time and take a giant leap forward in that area. 

Discover passions through pursuing interests and being allowed to quit/fail/try new things

Find your passion is a term that may seem out of touch for most. Not for unschoolers who are growing up with solid family bonds and adults who listen to and get on board with their ideas. We have always supported our children’s interests whether it’s sports, video games, learning to read, playing instruments, using money, photography, LEGO, or developing a VLOG.  All of it matters to them and when it matters to you too you will see that some interests come and go and some stick around. 

I’m sure there are more ways unschooling creates confidence in children but ultimately giving your child the gift of freedom to explore their curiosities will enable their creativity and confidence to flourish.