How Montessori has Impacted our Homeschool

When I became a parent, I found myself diving into all of the information I could find on childhood development and all of the ways to create a happy, healthy child. My childhood was full of authoritarian parenting practices layered with shame, guilt and fear tactics. I was determined not to do this to my child and set out learning every way I could do the opposite of how I was raised. After reading all of Janet Landsbury’s articles and trying to implement them I found myself drawn to The Montessori Method. I began my research into curriculum that would align with my desire to gentle parent and keep things light and fun. Every one I tried would last for a few months and slowly lose it allure. Which would lead me to bribe or coax my daughter (who was now 4) into participating. I felt like I knew that I needed a better approach but couldn’t figure out why all these curriculums which were labeled “Montessori” weren’t working for me.

Soon I found we were really enjoying life without school and through my research I was introduced to Child of the Redwoods which gave me the foundation I was looking for. I never felt like I completely understood the philosophy and how I could apply it in a “homeschool” setting. Using the materials and following scripts just wasn’t cutting it for me and here was my answer. I needed to understand what the method really was trying to convey.

I had to observe my child. Not just choose activities based on her age. Observing meant taking notes and being aware of what she really liked to do during her free time. Now when we are having an off day at home or I notice she’s not been in a flow I pull out some art supplies, gems and beads, get out her nature journal or books about topics she has shown interest in lately. These typically lead to a creative flow and harmony is restored for her. Academically this will also look like offering some sandpaper letters along with paper and pencil to practice letters or numbers or setting up a word game (if she shows interest) to encourage reading practice. Side note: I fully thought at 5 she was “showing interest” in learning letters which she was but I was pushing it too hard. Now as an almost 8 year old she shows much more interest in more academic activities with no pressure from me.

Materials can bring out the creative and learning experiences they’re seeking. I don’t have every Montessori material, but I see how easily my children can get into a flow if they’re in the right stage for a material and they understand how it works. For example, the number beads/stairs. When my son was 3 he began to understand the colors meant different quantities and was able to create the number stair over and over again. He would talk about the quantity the numbers added up to and how two different numbers together created a new bigger number. He loves numbers so this was just fun for him. He then would use them to play other games, but I was able to see that this was how his mind worked. There is no “school” time vs “play” time.

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Preparing the environment. Either by rotating materials/toys or bringing out things they may find interesting. In unschooling this is called, “strewing”. Using materials in a novel way can lead to inspiration that we as adults couldn’t possibly predict. After I backed off and gave myself time to observe I found when I suggest a documentary, a story, a recipe or put out an object/game/toy/material of interest they were more likely to engage and ask me questions which prompted enlightening conversations that led to more connection.

Respecting my children. We have 3 children and the biggest lesson I’ve learned through all of my experience is to respect my child where he/she is developmentally and treat them with the autonomy they are capable of. If I give a child extra time to tie a string on her bike, do his seat belt himself, or put the food on the fork herself this is giving the respect the child deserves. Patience towards the child learning a new skill leads to better focused attention, self esteem and self-direction. This also looks like providing them with the proper tools they need to participate in the household. For example, a sponge accessible for spills, a step stool so they can reach things high up, access to art materials, etc. When I don’t try to control everything or rush my children, I do find they are more likely to ask for help when they really need it rather than expecting me to do everything for them.

Finally, young children’s minds are absorbent like sponges and what we model is what they’re absorbing. The flash cards, word practice, drilling activities will all go to waste unless you intend on keeping this up for years. This is not how children learn best especially the littlest ones. They learn from observing, experiences, playing and through connection from us. Reading a book together and looking at the words and pictures slowly. Discussing how to behave in certain situations and modeling that behavior ourselves at home. Finding ways to entertain ourselves other than through TV or social media. Finding ways to be creative ourselves, learning a new hobby alone or together, and playing sports together will inspire them to do these things.

Discovering the philosophy behind the Montessori Method led me to feel secure in my decision to unschool because I felt both methods were aligned in that learning through play and autonomy for the child are essential. When children feel empowered, they are happier, learn better, and want to cooperate within the family.